Reclaim the Holidays: a childless woman’s perspective pt. 3
This is part three and the final instalment of Reclaim the Holidays: A childless woman's perspective.
Last week, I shared about helping a friend have plans in place to reclaim the holidays and get the support she needs this season. If you haven't read that post, read it first, and then head back over here. It will make so much more sense!
Some of the ideas on my friend's list are on mine, but as I will be at home without obligations to extended family, I can spend my time how I want.
In the past, all this freedom felt overwhelming. I felt left out, which was another reminder of what I didn't have. But, over the years, as I work to integrate the grief of childlessness, I have become delighted with this freedom.
However, it is grounding to keep elements of my routine the same.
For instance, the pilates studio I attend twice a week is closed for two weeks over the holidays, so I will take online yoga, pilates and movement classes with other teachers instead.
I keep regular weekly appointments with my coaching clients and embodiment students. Most of my clients are also childless not by choice, so this works all around.
The week between Christmas and New Year is when I like to have a few things scheduled, as it can feel like a time out of time. This year, I plan to visit friends in a nearby town for a couple of days.
To me, Reclaiming the holidays means creating my own traditions.
I have celebrated the 12 days of Yuletide for the past few years. These 12 days of observances are deeply connected to the earth honouring traditions of my Irish and English ancestors. Many Christmas traditions, such as bringing evergreen boughs and a tree inside, find their roots in Yuletide, but the focus is on something other than children or commercialism. The changing theme of each day gives me something different to consider. I keep myself occupied with gathering items and creating the altar daily to correspond with the day's theme. The photo above is of the second-night altar, honouring the ancestors of my patrilineal line and the land. Check this out to see each night's altar.
Tapping into these long-held observances allows me to feel the season's magic in a way that aligns with my values and feels meaningful.
Even though I enjoy how I choose to spend my time, I know that come New Year's day, I will need a rest. If we take our cues from nature, we see that winter is a time to be still and quiet.
There is a big rush to set the intention for the new year and get started on making things happen but resting during this time is another way I reclaim the holidays.
However you spend your time this holiday, I hope you feel supported and inspired to take control of some aspects and create what you want.
