Five Ways to Soothe an Emotional Hangover For Childless not by Choice Women

Ever wonder why you feel terrible after significant trigger events, such as Mother's Day, holidays and personal dates of significance? 

Apart from the obvious answer that that tentacles of childless grief reach beyond the significant days themselves, you are likely experiencing an emotional hangover.

What is an Emotional Hangover?

According to choosingtherapy.com, an emotional hangover is

"the feeling of being drained after leaving an emotionally taxing environment or event."

The same website goes on to say:

"Research suggests that particularly emotional events impact a person's memory and that symptoms of emotional hangovers can mimic those of depression and anxiety. Symptoms typically last a day but may persist for a week or more. 

Common symptoms of an emotional hangover include:

• Muscle tension

• Headaches or other physical ailments

• Feelings of guilt or remorse

• Sadness

• Fatigue

• Irritability

• Feeling drained or burned out"

(n.d.). Emotional Hangovers: Definition, Causes, & How to Cope. Choosingtherapy.com. https://www.choosingtherapy.com/emotional-hangover.

Sound familiar?

Whether you fully feel what's there or hold it all in to get through it, or, more likely, experience a combination of the two, the stress of these days on childless women takes its toll. 

Emotional hangovers are real, and it is imperative to take care of yourself after significant days or events.

Five Strategies to Soothe an Emotional Hangover For Childless Women

1. Rest

   Having downtime for your physical and emotional body to recover is vital. Try going to bed earlier, sleeping in or taking a nap.

2. Find Solace in Nature

   Head outside for a very slow walk or find a shady tree to sit under. Slowly breathe the fresh air and immerse yourself in the sounds and sights of the outdoors.

3. Drink Water

   Grief is dehydrating. Restore lost water spent through tears and anguish by increasing water intake. Add a few berries and a spring of mint for extra flavour. 

4. Practice Self-Compassion

   Directing kindness to the parts of yourself that are hurting brings validation, comfort and healing.

5. Connect with Others

   Spending time in person or online with others who are empathetic and understanding of your childlessness is comforting and soothing. This could be with a friend, support group or counsellor. It is common to feel guilt or shame when we have big feelings. Seeking comfort and validation outside of yourself is natural and helpful.

Once the emotional hangover's immediate physical and emotional sensations subside, and if you have the capacity, it can be helpful to look at how things went surrounding the event that caused the emotional hangover.

Here are a few questions to contemplate or write about in your journal:

• What was the occasion?

• How did I prepare myself? 

• What went well?

• What would I do differently next time?

• What did I learn about myself and what I need?

• Who can support me?

These reflections highlight strategies and support you can look to next time a big event is on the horizon. You can not plan away big feelings or triggers, but you can have support and strategies in place to help soften the impact.

Want some support with practicing Self-Compassion? Sign up here for a free, self-guided course designed for fellow childless women.

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