16 Types of Childless Grief Part Two
This article is the second in an ongoing series about childless grief, where I look at the 16 types of grief and how they relate to the childless, not by-choice experience. If you need to read part one, find it here.
Grief is a natural and universal human experience. However, the grief of childlessness is complex and multifaceted. It can manifest in various ways depending on the individual, circumstances, and cultural context.
This post looks at:
4. Chronic Grief
5. Delayed Grief
6. Distorted Grief
7. Cumulative Grief
These types of grief are sub-categories of 'Normal Grief.' All the physical, behavioural, emotional, and social responses of 'Normal Grief' are present, with some exacerbated depending on the individual circumstance. It is common to experience many types of grief at once.
4. Chronic Childless Grief
The intense emotions of loss can linger for an extended period, causing immense distress that may even intensify over time. Whether your journey to childlessness includes:
infertility,
recurrent loss,
being with a partner that doesn't want children, or
not having a partner to have children with,
being with a partner that already has a child and doesn't want or isn't able to have more,
being unable to have children yourself due to reasons other than infertility,
the intense pain of childlessness can last a long time. As a result, it is challenging to integrate grief and move towards embracing being childless, not by choice.
5. Delayed Childless Grief
Delayed grief happens when the feelings of loss and sorrow around being childless surface months or even years later. It is common and a normal nervous system response to disassociate and block out thoughts, emotions, and feelings associated with being childless. When an emotional reaction doesn't happen during the situation that caused the reaction, it will occur later. Experiencing delayed grief is confusing because it can take a while to associate your feelings with their source. Some women feel at peace with their situation, only to be grief-stricken years later.
6. Distorted Childless Grief
Distorted grief is characterized by extreme and very intense responses to loss. It is typical for this type of grief to show up as an overall behaviour change, with anger towards oneself, others, and society being a common expression.
7. Cumulative Childless Grief
Cumulative grief is when you experience another loss shortly after the initial loss. This type of grief IS the grief of childlessness. The losses keep adding up as the years go by. As a result, this is one of the most challenging types of grief to integrate, as it requires ongoing attention.
The grief of childlessness is a complex and individual experience that can manifest in various ways. Each type of grief deserves attention and support from loved ones and professionals. It is important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and everyone should be allowed to process their emotions in their own time and manner.
Which types of grief do you relate to?
How does this show up in your life?
With patience, understanding, and compassion, we can help each other navigate through the difficult childless, not by choice, grief journey.
For support with integrating your childless grief, visit here.
Read part three here
