Reclaim the Holidays as a Childless Woman
Reclaiming the holidays as a childless woman is challenging!
So many outside pressures have us childless folk feeling that we have few choices about how we will or should spend the holidays. Some of you probably think that you don't have many options. Here are a few examples of scenarios I have heard from childless women where they feel they don't have choices:
They have to go to all the family holiday events and feel left out of the celebrations because the focus is on siblings' children.
They have always wanted to host holiday celebrations at their place but have been told it is easier to have it at a sibling's because of the children.
They have to take extra shifts over the holidays because others have children.
They want a tree but feel it isn't worth it because it is only for them.
They don't have close family, so there aren’t any events to go to, and they will not get to do anything celebratory.
They want to dress up their dog and take pictures but feel ashamed, so they don't.
They want to create meaningful traditions but don't feel like it’s worth it because there aren't any children.
Even if these aren't exactly what you have been dealing with, I am sure you can relate and come up with your own list.
The perceived absence of choice adds to the already powerful feelings of being left out and misunderstood. I understand that entirely AND know it doesn't have to be that way.
What if there was room to do things differently?
Some of the above scenarios are trickier than others to navigate. For example, it might just not be possible to bow out of all family events without setting off a tidal wave of reactions you may not want to deal with, but what if you could, this year, start by not going to one?
If that isn't an option, what if you decided you could only go for two or three hours?
The same with the work scenario; what if you covered one or two instead of all of the extra shifts you are asked to?
What if you did get a tree and invited someone to enjoy it with you? This could happen anytime during December and look however you want. You could exchange gifts, have a festive meal together, make ornaments for the tree, or watch a holiday movie. Anything that you find festive and want to do.
The bottom line is that we have some choice in how we approach the holidays and have a say in making meaningful moments along the way. The first step is realizing that there are many opportunities to do things differently - big and small - and planning to do so.
To help you brainstorm reclaiming the holidays, and set and achieve your goals, I have created a free guide. So grab your copy and start planning.
