Living a Childless Life: Acceptance Pt. 1
Acceptance is necessary to live a childless life. It isn't easy, it takes practice, but it is worth the effort.
In her famous theory of grief, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross outlines five stages of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
While it is helpful to have these 'stages' outlined, it is misleading to suggest that you will move from one to the next and end with a nice conclusion of acceptance at the end of it.
These 'stages' are more like stations you stop at along the journey. The grieving process is not linear; there is no formula. It is a fluid experience, and you will dip in and out of all the stations many times over.
Misconceptions about Acceptance
Acceptance is an often misunderstood concept as it relates to grief and childlessness. Practicing acceptance doesn't mean that you feel good about being childless. It doesn't mean that the losses along the path to living a childless life don't affect you anymore. It doesn't mean that you will never feel sadness. Acceptance isn't an endorsement of your childlessness. It also isn't a static state which you reach, and the other stations or experiences of grief disappear.
Acceptance means you are present with what has happened and the reality of your situation. You are willing to face the reality of living a childless life and all that it means. It means you are learning to exist with your grief. You don't have to like it, but you are ready to take your seat in the reality of it.
Acceptance is a Practice
Practicing acceptance is learning to be present with what is. It is being mindful of your unconsciously held beliefs, inner narrative, triggers, and glimmers. It is cultivating an ongoing compassionate relationship with grief. It is spending time reimagining yourself and your future.
Like the other stations of grief, acceptance is fluid. Somedays, it will be easier to access than others. With a consistent return to practice, you can inhabit your reality with more and more ease.
You didn't choose this childless path, but the reality is that you are here.
What insight is present?
What possibilities are yet to be revealed?
